Just One of Those Days
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Just one of those days.
Do you remember that song, “Just One of Dem Days” from the 1990s by music artist Monica?
She was having a bad day, which seemed to be stemming from a relationship problem, wanted to be left alone, and didn’t want anyone to take it personally because she was going through something. How many of us can relate? Have you had one of those kinds of days?
Don’t want to be bothered? Irritated? Everyone and everything is too much. Feeling misunderstood by people who you feel should know you the best? And in response, you want to shut down and isolate for a while…or maybe longer.
Well, that’s why Monica’s song was such a hit, and often sung up until the last word because it’s catchy and relatable.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month and as much as I love writing about all things interesting, juicy, relationships, sex, dating woes, boundaries, travel, love, and more, I also feel a personal and professional obligation to talk about this question: When is it a good time to ask for help?
Yesterday, I celebrated the eighth anniversary of my Master’s Degree graduation. Eight years of being in the social work field and a lifetime to go. Inside and outside of the therapy room when people inquire about what I do for work, sometimes what happens next is a brief, and sometimes not brief, explanation of what the person is going through, or someone close to them, and they feel lost as to what to do. Monique, what can I do? How can I help myself? How can I help my _________ (fill in the blank, loved one).
For starters, be present, listen, hold space, and express your capacity for what you’re available to provide to them. Asking yourself or someone else you know to consider getting help, mental health support, is a sign of care. What you are saying to yourself or them is: I want you to be better. I want you to be well.
If you keep having “one of those days” more often than not, think about the next steps for support and change. Therapy can be beneficial for anyone at any stage of life with willingness and commitment.
7 signs that show it might be a good time to consider therapy:
Feeling overwhelmed: If you're feeling like you can't cope with things on your own, therapy can provide you with coping mechanisms and support.
Persistent sadness or anxiety: If you're feeling sad, anxious, or generally low for an extended period of time, therapy can help you work through these feelings.
Difficulty managing emotions: If you're finding it hard to control your emotions or they're affecting your daily life, therapy can provide you with strategies to manage them more effectively.
Major life changes: If you're going through a significant life change such as a divorce, job loss, grief, loss of a close friend or family member, therapy can provide you with support to help you adjust and finding “a new normal.”
Relationship issues: If you're having difficulties in your relationships, whether with a partner, family member, or friend, therapy can help you identify and navigate these challenges.
Trauma: If you've experienced a traumatic event, therapy can help you process what happened and work through any resulting issues.
Self-destructive behavior: If you're engaging in self-destructive behavior such as substance abuse, self-harm, or other atypical risky behaviors, therapy can help you understand why and find healthier ways to cope.
Reaching out for help can be scary. If you're unsure whether therapy is right for you, it can be helpful to speak to a therapist who can assess your situation and provide guidance or speaking with a trusted medical or mental health professional. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. The first step to change is not always acceptance; it’s acknowledgment that what has been cannot continue. Remember, you always deserve better.
Disclaimer:
The intention for using social media for social workers and other mental health professionals is for marketing, education, advocacy, thought leadership, and providing content in a technologically changing field. We want to do this while making potential therapy-seekers aware of the risks and benefits of engagement on social media and Internet where mental health professionals are present. A therapeutic relationship is a professional relationship and in today's technological climate, a social media presence or following your therapist on social media is not to be confused with a relationship outside of therapy. Ethical, professional, and therapeutic boundaries must be followed and honored.
A counseling social media page or blog is not psychotherapy, a replacement for a therapeutic relationship, or substitute for mental health and medical care. A social media presence as a counseling professional is not seeking an endorsement, request, or rating from past or current clients. No social media posts or blog should be considered professional advice. The information contained in posts is general information for educational purposes only.
Be mindful of sharing personal details or details or others if you choose to comment.
Please consult your physician or mental health provider regarding advice or support for your health and wellbeing.
If you or someone you know is experiencing a medical and/or psychiatric mental health crisis and requires assistance, please call 911 emergency services.
988- National Suicide Prevention Hotline (24 hours a day, 7 days a week)
Safe Horizon 24-hour Hotlines (se habla español):
Domestic violence victims: 800-621-HOPE (4673)
Victims of crime and their families: 866-689-HELP (4357)