A Father’s Love
Happy Sunday and Happy Fathers’ Day!
For some it is a great day, and for others it’s a complicated day. Maybe because of grief; your father has passed on and you can’t gift him a tie or call him up. Or maybe your father is living, but the relationship is distant and strained. Some don’t know their father. And some know their father but the relationship has been less than ideal. It’s complicated and grief is visiting you today.
I invite you to stay with me today and keep reading. I am a family therapist and although my niche focus is undoing toxic mother-daughter relationships, I also think about the dads too. Dads play a role when they are present and even in their absence. I help my clients to look at the lasting impact.
I remember as a young child visiting a family friend’s home, we were invited to stay for dinner and it was time to have a seat at the table. In my home, I always sat at the end, not next to anyone. So, I went for the seat I knew and would be comfortable sitting. And everyone sat and looked at me. I started to wonder, “okay, why are y’all staring at me? I thought we were going to eat.’ My friend’s mother told me I was actually in her husband’s seat and that he sits at the head of the table. I was in the wrong seat. We changed seats, had the meal, and life went on.
It’s funny to me that I am remembering that incident like it was yesterday because it was so long ago, but it means something. A father’s love and a father’s presence (when present) must be respected because it means something! Their family was different from mine. I knew that even before sitting in the wrong seat. And I, maybe like you, have had several reminders throughout our lives.
A few thoughts:
If women can have good relationships with their mothers, then they will go on, or be more likely to have positive relationships and interactions with other women.
If women can have good relationships with their fathers, then they will go on to be good pickers. They’ll know how to pick a good man for romantic commitment and companionship.
Women are responsible for a lot! So, are you telling me this is an unspoken condition of being a woman? Because, to be honest, I was not thinking about any of this at a very young age. Mommy issues, daddy issues, we are all after a father’s love.
There are images that come up in my mind thinking about a father’s love and presence. A tight hug, a kiss on the cheek, a word of encouragement. Fixing something. Putting a bike together. A strong deep voice. A dad joke. And the list goes on.
What would my life have been like if I had the picture-perfect family? Would a father’s love have saved me from relationship troubles? Would I have a stronger sense of self, confidence, if I could say my dad is my first love? Or, I’m a daddy’s girl.
A father’s love, presence, guidance, protection, and consistent involvement. A father's love leaves a lasting legacy, influencing not only his children but also future generations. The values and lessons imparted by a father resonate through time. In essence, a father's love is a unique blend of strength, tenderness, guidance, and unwavering support, forming a cornerstone in the development and happiness of his children.
I don’t know each person’s story. But I hope today when you think about the men in your life that there is someone who has been there for you and deserves acknowledgment and celebration. Maybe it’s an uncle, brother, friend, mentor, or even yourself. They have shown you a father’s love.
“Any man can be a father but it takes a special person to be a dad.” Happy Fathers’ Day.
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