Weh Dat A Go Do?

Weh Dat A Go Do? Turning Criticism, Expectations & Doubt into Purpose

In wrapping up one of my favorite months, I wanted to write a blog piece tying in womanhood, professionalism/career, and culture. As a first-generation daughter, many people ask me to weigh in on my personal and professional experiences as a social worker, business owner, daughter, aunt, godmother, and all the many hats I wear and how it relates back to my family’s roots in Jamaica.

"Weh dat a go do?" This question came to mind as the prompt for today’s blog.

A question, a challenge, a dismissal. It is the voice of doubt—sometimes from others, sometimes from within. The words land sharp, laced with skepticism. You share a dream, a plan, an idea, and the response is a raised brow, a smirk, and that cutting question:

Weh dat a go do?

What will that do? What’s the point? What difference will it make?

Sometimes, it’s the casual remark of a family member, skeptical of your choices. Other times, it’s the inner critic whispering that your dreams are too big, your ambitions too risky. Caribbean culture, particularly Caribbean parenting, is known for its strong morals and high expectations. Work hard. Play it safe. Be better than what they expected of you. For many daughters raised under the weight of these expectations, success is not just a personal journey—it is a family legacy, a cultural obligation.

But when your path doesn’t look like what they envisioned for you, when your choices make them uneasy, when you decide to break cycles instead of repeat them, the doubts come rolling in.

The Weight of Expectation & The Fear of Disappointment

For many Caribbean women—especially first-generation daughters—career paths are not just about finding a passion. They are about survival. Stability. Security. You grow up hearing that success means a stable job, preferably in medicine, law, or business. You’re taught to strive for something prestigious, something that proves the sacrifices made before you were worth it.

But what happens when the life you want does not match the life they imagined for you?

The guilt creeps in. The anxiety builds. The self-doubt starts echoing their voices:

You really think that’s gonna work?
Why would you leave a good job for something so uncertain?
You have everything you need—why do you want more?

It is meant as protection. It is meant to keep you from falling. But what if staying in the wrong place is the real danger?

Projecting Fears, Carrying Generational Anxiety

Many of our mothers and grandmothers didn’t have the luxury of choosing passion over practicality. They had to work, to endure, to push through with limited or no options. They sacrificed comfort so we could have options. But sometimes, those sacrifices turn into silent expectations.

When they question our choices, it is not always because they do not believe in us—it is because they are afraid for us. Afraid that we might make the wrong move. Afraid we may repeat patterns and struggle in ways they fought so hard to protect us from. Afraid that the world will not be kind to a woman who dares to trust herself. But their fears do not have to become our limits.

Finding Your Own Voice in the Noise

It is easy to drown in the weight of other people’s expectations, to confuse their fears for your own, to believe that just because they do not see the vision means the vision is not real. But your purpose is not up for debate.

Ask yourself:

• Am I making this choice for myself, or to ease someone else’s anxiety?

• Does this path align with what I actually want, or just what I think will be acceptable?

• If fear wasn’t a factor, what would I choose?

The answers may not come right away. But they will come. And when they do, trust them.

Turning Doubt into Purpose

Doubt can be a mirror. It doesn’t define you; it shows you where you still need to believe in yourself.
Not everyone will understand your vision. That’s okay. It wasn’t given to them—it was given to you.
You do not need permission to evolve. Growth will make some people uncomfortable. Let it.

Women’s History Month reminds us that the women before us fought for survival, for dignity, for opportunity. Now, we fight for balance. For the ability to pursue our purpose without guilt. For the right to choose a different way, without it being seen as disrespect.

We are not just our mother’s daughters. We are our own women, learning to take what serves us and leave behind what doesn’t.

The next time someone asks, “Weh dat a go do?”—smile. Keep moving. Keep building.

One day, they’ll see exactly what it did.

Let’s connect. Email me: moniqueevanstherapy@gmail.com

Accepting individual, couples, and family clients (self-pay and select insurance via headway.co- Monique Evans, LCSW)

For social work clinicians, I also offer clinical consultation meetings (Not to be confused with clinical supervision for licensure hours) at any level of practice.

Book me as your mental health presenter for speaking engagements, podcasts, panels, and presentations.

Disclaimer:

The intention for using social media for social workers and other mental health professionals is for marketing, education, advocacy, thought leadership, and providing content in a technologically changing field. We want to do this while making potential therapy-seekers aware of the risks and benefits of engagement on social media and Internet where mental health professionals are present. A therapeutic relationship is a professional relationship and in today's technological climate, a social media presence or following your therapist on social media is not to be confused with a relationship outside of therapy. Ethical, professional, and therapeutic boundaries must be followed and honored. 

• A counseling social media page or blog is not psychotherapy, a replacement for a therapeutic relationship, or substitute for mental health and medical care. A social media presence as a counseling professional is not seeking an endorsement, request, or rating from past or current clients. No social media posts or blog should be considered professional advice. The information contained in posts is general information for educational purposes only.

• Be mindful of sharing personal details or details or others if you choose to comment.

• Please consult your physician or mental health provider regarding advice or support for your health and wellbeing. 

• If you or someone you know is experiencing a medical and/or psychiatric mental health crisis and requires assistance, please call 911 emergency services.

• 988- National Suicide Prevention Hotline (24 hours a day, 7 days a week)

• Safe Horizon 24-hour Hotlines (se habla español):

  • Domestic violence victims: 800-621-HOPE (4673)