Queen of Outside and Solo Travel!
Happy first Sunday of the New Year and welcome back to my Undoing Toxic Blog!
When I considered writing a blog entry about solo travel, I thought about this name that I earned from one of my friends: Queen of Outside. How did I earn this name? One of my long time friends, we affectionately call each other “Queens of Outside” whenever we see that we are up to some adventure in our home city of New York or somewhere around the world. Thank you Tiffany for playing a part in inspiring this title.
I think travel is so important. Traveling of any kind shows you new things about yourself and your relationship to your environment. When I was younger, I used to do a lot of road trips and car travel. I also experienced traveling on airplanes as a child. If you know anything about me my favorite part of the airplane and the chicken is the wing. Not only do I love a window seat, I really love being over the wing. The wonder and beauty of travel is something that will always be refreshing to me. You can wake up in one country and go to sleep in another. I know some people are afraid of traveling by plane, but I am intrigued by taking off, cruising in the skies, and best of all getting back on the ground for landing. Not many people know this, but at one time I wanted to be a flight attendant. I wanted to have the opportunity to fly and see the world.
I am always looking for new adventure and wonder. Because of this, I think it is perfect to talk about being the “Queen of Outside” and solo travel.
I took my first ever solo trip in 2022 to Dominican Republic. And I can't lie, I was a little scared jumping into it...alone. Prior to this, I had only ever traveled with friends, or if I did fly or travel by myself, I was going to be meeting someone on the other end whether it be friends or family. For me, this was my first solo trip and there was not going to be a familiar face on the other side waiting for me at the airport. I was all on my own. I remember many friends advised me to choose another place that might be more English-friendly, easier to navigate, but in true Leo fashion, I didn't listen. I went to a Spanish speaking country, where my Spanish is conversational at best. But I went, and I did it, and it was one of the best experiences I ever had. I proved to myself that I did not need to wait on anyone, and as long as I had the resources and safety measures that I felt were needed in check, I was good to go. Sometimes we need to be pushed out of our comfort zones to see what we are truly capable of. I traveled to Europe later in 2022 and that was not a solo trip. And I did more solo traveling in 2023.
In comparing and contrasting my experiences, I considered: What is similar or different and what are the benefits and drawbacks of solo travel versus traveling with other people? I realized A LOT.
There are four key things to keep in mind when considering solo travel or traveling with others.
Time, timeliness, and time-keeping
Decision making
Money
Compromise
Have you seen these memes online where it says who wants to take a trip and break up at JFK? Or another one: you don't truly know a person until you travel with them or money is involved? I think these things are very true and telling.
With solo traveling, you set your own pace, your own schedule and there is no one to fight with but yourself. If you are not a morning person, you don't need to wake up for a 7:00 a.m. excursion. You don't have to coordinate sharing the bathroom or the mirror to get ready. You don't have to deal with snoring, late or early phone calls, or other small things that can seem like big things when traveling with another person. Doing what you want when you want can also be exactly what you want and need. Solo travel can also feel isolating and lonely. But thankfully there are group excursions and travel meetup groups so even while traveling solo, you can meet up with people who share similar interests to do an activity. Life is about balance, right?
Money is also a big ticket item. Travel includes associated and often forgot about costs. As a woman, we often talk about vacation prep: Hair, nails, eyelashes, outfits, getting waxed, pocket money, etc. Money spent on trips does not stop at your ticket and accommodations. Discussions about budget and expectations around money should be discussed prior to and revisited during the trip.
Here’s my personal rule of thumb: set a total personal budget for yourself. I like to think of cash that I bring on vacation as throw away money. If I come home with some, that’s great, but this is money already spent and I'm here to have fun. Reserve credit cards, savings, or your checking account for emergencies or exceptional purchases where you could not use your cash. Consider cost of activities or your itinerary for travel when traveling with others. It's okay to sit things out if it's not within your budget or your interest. Compromise is also important because sometimes the group may do something that is one of your interest and you want to be a supportive team player and not selfish. Find a balance with this. Communication is key.
Decision-making is a big one. What can I say? When you are the solo traveler, EVERYTHING is up to you. Decision-making with another person or with a group can become complex. The decision has to benefit most of all of the group, right? And as we know, it is difficult to make everyone happy. Group decisions require a group process. I know that I personally have a lower tolerance for group processing and decision-making. I am more of a lay the options out on the table, what makes financial sense (affordability and check your budget), what makes sense for the schedule, and what am I/are we interested in? And make a decision. I hate back and forth. I am direct and for people who are not as direct or struggle with decision-making, it is not always fair for decision making to fall to the person who is more decisive. Decision-making is also responsibility that should be shared with vacation goers.
And, last but not least, time. What is your relationship to time and time management? When running on your own time, no problem. I have been on solo trips and I have eaten dinner anywhere between 5:00 p.m. and 9:00 p.m. and that's okay. When you are by yourself, do you! Maybe I needed some time to freshen up after a beach day, or an excursion. Maybe I just needed some down time before jumping into another situation. When traveling with others, compromise and prioritizing the needs of the group may supersede your own needs. Your travel partner or group may not always want a late dinner, and you also don't want to hold up your companions. Can you balance the needs of the schedule? You don't want to run late and cause stress for yourself or others.
Consider your relationship with these four things. Consideration is key by yourself and with others.
Solo or with others, I invite you to be the queen or king of outside.
Do you have any travel stories or wisdom to share? Drop me a comment below.
Here’s to more adventure in 2024!
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