I Just Want It Now
Happy Sunday and Happy December! Today’s blog is a reflection about life, desires, and navigating seasons of waiting.
I think we all agree in most societies that order is necessary. We need lines at the supermarket, we need red and green traffic signals to tell us when to go and when to stop. We should not just park anywhere on the street. People in a line should be served according to where they stand- one after the other. We like order.
I think we like order though when it comes to other people and controlling situations. Have you ever been at the back of a line and wished, “man, I wish they would just call me up to the front.” I don’t want to wait. I am tired. Impatient. Maybe they will run out of whatever I have by the time I get to the front if I have to wait. Where is the loophole? I want a way out of waiting.
I just want it now. A relationship. Healing. Dessert after dinner. Everything has a waiting time.
Why do we hate to wait? Some reasons are that when we wait we can feel like it is a waste of time, unproductive. Waiting can be anxiety-inducing. We also like to compare. We see others getting what they want, so we want our share now. Waiting requires patience and sometimes we are not patient.
I find it funny that we teach children delayed gratification and then as adults the rule goes out the window for us. We can afford to manipulate situations to make it happen now. Children often do not have that same position and power. Sometimes we go against our own best interests due to impatience. We are driven by lust and desire chasing a feeling by way of emotion. Nothing feels better than satisfying what you want even if you know it is not what you need at the time.
What have you ever waited for?
Where have you waited?
Have you ever waited for someone?
Are you in a waiting season right now?
What are you learning about waiting?
What are you learning about yourself?
Why is waiting necessary?
Waiting is really an exercise for our discipline. Are we really serious about what we say we want? We have to commit just as much in the waiting season when we finally receive what was desired. Some dream of a relationship and then do not do the work to maintain it. There are lessons to be learned. Recently, I finished two books. One is titled “How to Be a Stoic- Don’t Hope That Events Will Turn Out The Way You Want, Welcome Events In Whichever Way They Happen” and “One Day My Soul Just Opened Up” a 40 Day Journal by Iyanla Vanzant. Looking back, I realized two powerful things for myself.
I need to accept and let go of things sometimes no matter what I try to tell myself.
And as Iyanla would say, beloved, your life is unfolding in order by the Divine (God).
All things, good, bad, and whatever meaning I attach to them, have and will continue to come together for the divine order of events that will make up my life. Sadness, heartbreak, disappointment, stress, joy, vacation, success, abundance, scarcity, togetherness, loneliness, noise, silence, and moments of waiting.
It is easy to tell people “just trust.” Trust that it is coming…whatever you want. That’s good advice for others. Not for ourselves if I am being honest. I will end in saying I invite you to trust if that becomes available to you. But while on the long line of waiting, talk to others and find company. See what they are considering while waiting. Talking while waiting makes the time appear to move faster. There is wisdom to be found there, too.
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Let’s connect. Email me: moniqueevanstherapy@gmail.com
Accepting individual, couples, and family clients (self-pay and select insurance via headway.co- Monique Evans, LCSW)
For social work clinicians, I also offer clinical consultation meetings (Not to be confused with clinical supervision for licensure hours) at any level of practice.
Book me as your mental health presenter for speaking engagements, podcasts, panels, and presentations.
Disclaimer:
The intention for using social media for social workers and other mental health professionals is for marketing, education, advocacy, thought leadership, and providing content in a technologically changing field. We want to do this while making potential therapy-seekers aware of the risks and benefits of engagement on social media and Internet where mental health professionals are present. A therapeutic relationship is a professional relationship and in today's technological climate, a social media presence or following your therapist on social media is not to be confused with a relationship outside of therapy. Ethical, professional, and therapeutic boundaries must be followed and honored.
A counseling social media page or blog is not psychotherapy, a replacement for a therapeutic relationship, or substitute for mental health and medical care. A social media presence as a counseling professional is not seeking an endorsement, request, or rating from past or current clients. No social media posts or blog should be considered professional advice. The information contained in posts is general information for educational purposes only.
Be mindful of sharing personal details or details or others if you choose to comment.
Please consult your physician or mental health provider regarding advice or support for your health and wellbeing.
If you or someone you know is experiencing a medical and/or psychiatric mental health crisis and requires assistance, please call 911 emergency services.
988- National Suicide Prevention Hotline (24 hours a day, 7 days a week)
Safe Horizon 24-hour Hotlines (se habla español):
Domestic violence victims: 800-621-HOPE (4673)
Victims of crime and their families: 866-689-HELP (4357)