When Hard Work Pays Off
Happy Sunday! Thank you for visiting the Undoing Toxic Blog today. For the month of March, my blog posts will be highlighting Social Work Appreciation month and Women’s History Month.
“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” When life throws you hard curve balls, adversity, challenges, difficulties…face it, make the best of it. Work with the cards that you have.
When life throws you another reason to say “why me?” or “what now?” or “again?” Don’t give up. Find your purpose and keep going.
“It does not matter how slow you go but that you do not stop.”
I was not your traditional, 20-something year old college student or graduate student.
I did not have the “normal, American, college experience.” I didn’t dorm. I didn’t party like that. I was not in a sorority. I stayed in NYC while most people I knew were leaving, spreading their wings. And there was me, catching the 5 train to the 6 train to 68th Street-Hunter College. I also did not do college in the prescribed 4 years. It took me 5 years, some winter courses and summer courses, but I made it.
Imagine doing all of this and by May, having 118 of 120 credits required for graduation. “Ms. Monique Evans, we invite you to walk in May Commencement with your classmates, but to receive your degree, coursework must succesfully be completed and achieve a passing grade.” No incompletes, no withdrawing from the course. I can go to the party, but there’s more work to be done. Okay.
I worked and went to school. I had to. I did not see any other way to survive. And not everyone is going to understand or respect your dream. They just want you to clock in because “we have to meet the needs of the business.” I could only start at 5pm because my last lecture ended at 4:25pm and then I was running down the escalator. No time for the library or to stroll. I was on to the next responsibility.
I had a gap year before I went to grad school. Just work, no school, no papers to write, just vibes. I think everyone should do a gap year. Sure, I had received my degree by this time (I did finish the class!), but with only a Bachelor’s in Arts of Sociology, what could I do? I didn’t earn anything more at the job I was working. I got to update my education level in the portal, that was it.
What’s next? Because, this can’t be it. It was not my dream to retire from retail. But I am often asked “why are you so calm?” I have seen and heard a lot before I learned about social work and how to become a therapist. I learned how to attend to others, manage a store operation, count money, do math, problem-solve, talk to people when they’re mad, diffuse situations, work with others, and much more.
I did an internship at the end of undergrad learning how to do intake interviews. I did not know at that time I wanted to be a family therapist or any of that. I knew I wanted to help people. I also knew I didn’t want to talk to them only once and send them on their way. I wanted to know how were they doing the week after that. That’s therapy. How can I do this more than twice a week? “Go get an MSW.” Okay.
Long story short (maybe another blog for another day), I get into NYU Silver, the gap year is coming to an end. And as some of us children of Caribbean heritage have heard often enough, “time to pick up your book and buckle down.” I literally told myself this. Monique, it’s time to buckle down.
I buckled in and I buckled down. I still took the 5 to the 6 train, but now I was getting off at 14th Street or Astor Place. Real talk, I cried every week my first month in grad school. It was A LOT! Life went from calm and predictable to being in overdrive. Everyday I had to be somewhere. The rest is history at this point. I did it scared. I did it not knowing what would come next or after. I graduated with my Master’s of Social Work and the next day the bank called for my credit card payment. I had $1.00 USD left to my name. I gave it everything I have. To everyone I have met along the way, professors, strangers, friends, and the experiences I have had entering the field. It was all preparation and thank you.
You don’t have to be a social worker, a counselor, a therapist. Whatever it is that you want to do, when you know you want and deserve more for yourself and your life- do it. Do it scared, do it alone, bet your bottom dollar on it. In the words of comedian Katt Williams from his Club Shay Shay Interview, “I know I'm coming. They know I'm coming. I know they gonna be there, and they know I’mma do the best job I can possibly do.”
Happy Social Work Month!
-Mo
Disclaimer:
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988- National Suicide Prevention Hotline (24 hours a day, 7 days a week)
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