Delulu and Denial Go Together Real Bad
I saw online a meme that stated when someone says, “couldn’t be me” followed by a distinct facial expression, that is a Black or African-American person’s way of saying that you or the thing/situation you got yourself into is stupid.
Or, “If you like it, I love it.”
“If that makes sense…to you.”
When you have tried to advise someone and they refuse or do not have more insight and remain stuck, sometimes we do have to leave them in their reality. In 2024, many have called this being delulu and in denial. Delulu comes from the word delusional.
The truth is, we are really good advice givers to others when it comes to their situation. Girl, leave that man alone. Don’t do it. Don’t spend that money. Don’t take that trip. Maybe you should wait for (fill in the blank).
So, I have a question for you. Could you stand on the advice that you give?
I say could and not can, because can means ability. Could means under the right conditions. And I am here to tell you that a majority of the things we do as individuals and a collective is based on conditions. Conditions are preferable circumstances that make us comfortable in a situation.
I’ll come see you if I have enough money, clothes to wear, and if it’s not raining outside. Those are conditions and things I may need in line before I make any moves.
Today’s blog is about how we sometimes confuse hope, delusion, and denial and call it looking for love. Looking for a forever situation, or a good enough for right now situation.
We tell our friends and people we know that it “couldn’t be me,” but the truth is, it has been you! So why do we act like we have never been delulu, in denial, or skipped over a few red flags and called it a carnival?
Has there been a time when you were in denial about the reality of a situation? It can be hard to admit initially. I think hope keeps us in situations longer than we need to be. Here are some helpful tips on moving past a failed relationship or situationship:
Acknowledge your feelings: It's okay to feel sad, disappointed, or even angry about the ending of something you felt was promising. Allow yourself to feel your emotions without judgment.
Give yourself time: Healing takes time, so be patient with yourself. Don't rush the process.
Cut off contact: This might be difficult, but it's important to create some distance between you and the other person. Delete their number, unfollow them on social media, and avoid places where you're likely to run into them.
Focus on yourself: Take this time to focus on your own well-being. Do things that make you happy, whether it's spending time with friends, pursuing a hobby, or practicing self-care.
Reflect on the relationship: Think about what you learned from the situation and how it can help you grow as a person.
Reach out for support: Don't be afraid to lean on friends and family for support during this time. Talking to someone you trust can help you process your feelings and gain perspective.
Stay positive: Remind yourself that you deserve to be in a healthy, fulfilling relationship, and that a situationship ending is just a step toward finding a more aligned connection.
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